In any relationship, you will have conflict, but how you handle a disagreement will make all the difference. An argument can be seen as an opportunity for growth, understanding, and deeper connection or as a battle that needs to be won. In this post, we will discuss how to argue in a healthy, productive way so you can better navigate your relationships when conflict arises. 

1. Prepare Beforehand 

Practicing mindfulness or journaling about your feelings beforehand can help you stay centered. If you are grounded when starting an argument, you are better equipped to stay calm, listen to the other person, and be open-minded. You will also have a chance to let your anger subside. 

2. Stay Calm and Respectful

When emotions run high, you can easily say something you don’t mean in the heat of the moment. Take deep breaths, count to 10, or give yourself a pep talk, anything that will help you regulate your emotions. When arguing, speak directly about your thoughts and feelings but in a calm and respectful tone and avoid shouting or name-calling in order to get your point across. Respect fosters a safe space for honest dialogue.

3. Listen to Understand, Not to Respond

Many people only listen to figure out how to respond. But when you argue you should focus on what the other person is saying, verbally and nonverbally to truly understand the other person’s perspective. Ensure you ask clarifying questions and repeat back what you hear to ensure comprehension. 

4. Use “I” Statements

Arguments should focus on change instead of highlighting faults. Instead of blaming, focus on expressing how you feel using “I” statements. For example, instead of saying “you always…” try saying, “I feel…” or “I need…” This approach reduces defensiveness and promotes empathy.

5. Stay on Topic

Avoid bringing up past grievances as they can escalate the conflict rather than resolve it. It will make each other more defensive, cause distractions, and make resolution seem impossible. Stick to the current issue and avoid using phrases like “you always” or “you never,” which can feel accusatory. 

6. Choose Trust Over Secrets 

Remember to be honest. If you withhold or exaggerate information to support your argument better, you begin a series of toxic arguments. Both people in the relationship need to trust and support each other, even when there are disagreements. Don’t threaten or question the relationship and the other person’s commitment when you argue.

7. Take Breaks if Needed

If the discussion becomes too heated, know your limits and take a short break to cool off. Let the other person know that you need time to collect your thoughts but are committed to continuing the conversation later. A break will help you have a productive conversation and avoid further escalation. 

8. Find Common Ground

Look for areas where you both agree. When you acknowledge shared goals or values you help shift the conversation from opposition to collaboration. Remember you are on the same team as the other person and you both have good intentions when you argue.

9. Apologize When Necessary

If you said something hurtful or made a mistake, don’t be too prideful to apologize. Taking responsibility for your actions can help repair the relationship and allow both of you to move forward. If the other person in the argument apologizes, be the bigger person and forgive them. 

10. Be Open to Compromise

Not all conflicts have a perfect resolution, and that’s okay. If a compromise isn’t possible, agree to respect each other’s differences and move forward with mutual respect and without harboring resentment. Understanding that differing opinions are a natural part of life can help maintain long-term peace. 

11. Know When to Let Go

Remember every argument needs to or will end in total agreement. Sometimes, the best resolution is agreeing to disagree and moving forward with mutual respect. You shouldn’t argue just to figure out who is wrong and who is right.

12. Follow Up

After resolving a conflict, check in with the other person to ensure you are both in a healthy and understanding place. A simple, “Are we okay?” or “How are you feeling about our conversation?” can reinforce mutual respect and understanding.

13. Seek Mediation if Needed

If you and your partner have difficulty resolving a disagreement on your own, consider seeking outside help. A neutral third party, such as a therapist, can facilitate a constructive discussion and help both parties come to a healthy and respectful resolution. 

Know How to Argue in a Healthy and Productive Way

By practicing these techniques, you can see an argument as a chance to grow and a build stronger connection. Healthy arguments don’t break people apart — they bring them closer through greater awareness and mutual respect.

Even though therapy is more widely accepted today, many misconceptions still surround it. Myths about therapy often make people weary of it and can even prevent people from seeking the help they need. Let’s break down some of the most common misconceptions and uncover the truth about therapy, so you can feel more confident making an appointment. 

Therapy is Only for People with Severe Mental Illness

While therapy is a crucial tool for those struggling with mental health conditions, it can also benefit anyone facing stress, relationship issues, career dilemmas, or personal growth challenges. It can also used as a preventive measure. Therapy helps you build emotional resilience, develop coping skills, and improve your overall well-being.

Going to Therapy Means You’re Weak

Seeking therapy is actually a sign of strength and resourcefulness. It takes courage to acknowledge when you need help and to take proactive steps toward improving your mental health. Just like seeing a doctor for physical health, therapy is a great way to take care of your mind. You should never feel ashamed or embarrassed for seeking therapy — and shouldn’t let anyone in your life make you feel that way. 

Therapy is Too Expensive

Worrying about cost keeps many people from going to therapy. While therapy can be costly, there are options available to you. Some health insurance policies will cover therapy sessions and many therapists offer variable prices based on what a client can pay. You can also explore online therapy and community mental health resources, which provide budget-friendly alternatives. 

If you are worried about using funds for therapy, remember that you are investing in yourself and your mental health. Doing well mentally is just as important as being physically healthy. 

Therapy is Just Talking About Your Problems

One of the most common myths involves what you do during an appointment. Therapy is much more than talking or venting. While you do talk a lot in therapy,  you also identify unhealthy patterns, learn coping strategies, and develop problem-solving skills. Therapists use various approaches, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or mindfulness techniques. Clients may also make art or play with toys as part of their therapy. You may even receive assignments or work to do at home as part of your treatment. 

Therapy Takes Forever

The length someone will be in therapy will depend on their mental health, personal goals, and why they are in therapy. Some people see progress in just a few sessions, while others benefit from longer-term support. Many modern therapy approaches focus on short-term, goal-oriented treatment designed to provide relief and solutions in a structured timeframe. Therapy is also meant to be personalized to you, your problems, and your goals. 

Therapists Will Judge You

Therapists are trained to provide nonjudgmental, objective, and supportive care. Their goal is to help, not to criticize or shame. Therapy is a safe, confidential space where you can express your thoughts and feelings freely without fear of being judged. 

Therapy Isn’t Fun or Enjoyable

Therapy can be an enjoyable experience. Many clients look forward to and value the time they have in therapy. You may have a beautiful, healing journey with your therapist. You may laugh, cry, smile, or feel any number of emotions. You may feel peace or happiness when you feel understood by your therapist and find yourself making progress toward your goals. 

Therapists will Give Me the Same Advice as My Friends and Family

One of the most common myths involves the necessity of therapy. While it’s important to have friends and a strong support system for your well-being, therapists have professionally trained for years to deal with many different situations and concerns, including trauma, abuse, neglect, attachment, and behavioral issues. They view these with a clinical eye that others in your life may not be equipped to provide. 

You Only Discuss Your Childhood in Therapy

Therapy isn’t for only exploring your past or childhood. While discussing your background can provide valuable insight into who you are today, therapy mostly focuses on the issues you are currently facing. Therapists want to focus on your goals and improve your current mental health. 

Therapists will also not blame your issues on your childhood or upbringing. They are trained to be objective and help clients take responsibility for their lives. Professional therapists should never blame or shame clients into changing. 

Therapy is a Judgment-Free Tool Designed to Help Anyone

Therapy is a valuable tool for improving your mental health, self-awareness, and overall quality of life. By debunking these myths, we hope to encourage more people to seek the support they need. If you’ve been hesitant due to myths about therapy, now is the time to reconsider  — your mental health is worth it.

Depression is a complex mental health condition affecting millions of people worldwide. While many think of depression as simply feeling sad, it actually comes in different forms, each with unique symptoms, causes, and treatments. Understanding the different types of depression can help you or others affected seek the right support and treatment.

Major Depressive Disorder

Major Depressive Disorder (Clinical Depression) causes you to have persistently low or depressed mood or disinterest in activities you normally enjoy. A persistent depressed mood that lasts two or more weeks is grounds for a diagnosis. 

Causes

• A stressful life event — A death of a loved one, trauma, divorce, loss of a job, or any sudden life-altering event can trigger feelings of depression. 
• Childhood development — Childhood abuse or trauma can cause clinical depression to develop later in a person’s life.
• Genetics — You’re three times as likely to develop this condition if you have a parent or sibling with depression versus someone without a family history of this condition 
• Brain chemistry — An imbalance or lack of serotonin or dopamine in the brain can contribute to depression. 

Symptoms

• Loss of interest in activities or hobbies you used to enjoy
• Feeling sad, empty, hopeless, or unusually irritable 
• An increase or decrease in appetite, which may lead to weight loss or weight gain
• Trouble sleeping (insomnia) or oversleeping (hypersomnia)
• Low energy or fatigue
• Thoughts of worthlessness, excessive guilt, death, or suicide
• Inability to concentrate
• Impaired cognitive function

Postpartum Depression 

Postpartum depression affects about one in seven women worldwide, regardless of age, race, or economic background. It is characterized by feelings of sadness, anxiety, indifference, or exhaustion following the birth of a child. 

Risk Factors

• Previous depression after or during previous pregnancies
• History of depression or bipolar disorder in yourself or family members
• Poor social support
• Traumatic events happening around the time of the pregnancy or birth
• Feeling unsure about your pregnancy 
• Instability in your marriage or relationship

Symptoms

• Fatigue or sluggishness
• Changes in appetite 
• Difficulty sleeping or oversleeping
• Unexplainable crying
• Feeling sad, hopeless, or worthless, or that you are a bad mother
• Lack of interest in the baby, not feeling bonded to the baby, or feeling overly anxious about the baby
• Loss of interest or pleasure in the baby
• Fear of harming the baby or yourself 

Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is marked by extreme changes in mood, thought, energy, and behavior. It was previously known as manic depression because a person’s mood can alternate between feelings of mania and depression. These mood swings can last for hours, days, weeks, or even months. There are two major types of bipolar disorder: bipolar I and bipolar II. Bipolar I is characterized by one or more episodes of mania and bipolar II is characterized by one or more depressive episodes and at least one episode of mania. 

It’s important to understand that bipolar disorder is a mental condition and not an indicator of a person’s worth or character.  

Risk Factors

• Living with a family member who has a mood disorder or another mental condition
• Having specific genetics
• Experiencing traumatic or stressful life events
• Childhood poverty or abuse
• Excessive drug and alcohol use

Symptoms

Mania

• Heightened mood, optimism, self-confidence, and an inflated sense of self-importance
• Excessive irritability or aggressive behavior
• Decreased need for sleep without experiencing fatigue
• Racing speech or thoughts
• Reckless behavior, impulsiveness, and poor judgment
• In severe cases, delusions or hallucinations

Depression

• Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying
• Significant change in appetite or sleep patterns
• Irritability, anger, worry, pessimism, or indifference
• Unexplained aches or pains
• Thoughts of death or suicide or feelings of guilt and worthlessness

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Seasonal affective disorder generally occurs during the changing of the seasons — particularly in the transition between fall and winter. It usually lessens during the spring and summer months. This disorder currently has no known causes, but there are a few theories.

Possible Causes

• Circadian rhythms – Our circadian rhythm or biological clock is responsible for the time we go to sleep and when we wake up. In the winter, we experience less daylight, which could dysregulate these rhythms, causing SAD.
• Serotonin — Seasonal changes could lead to a drop in serotonin, causing SAD symptoms.  
• Melatonin — Melatonin within the body may be produced differently in different seasons, which could lead to feelings of depression in the winter.

Symptoms

• Feeling depressed the whole day, every day
• Changes in appetite or craving carbs
• Weight gain
• Decreased energy levels, fatigue, or sleeping more than usual
• Irritability or social withdrawal
• Difficulty concentrating or losing interest in activities you used to enjoy

Psychotic Depression

Psychotic depression is the most severe out of the types of depression. It combines severe depression with some form of psychosis. It may include experiences such as,

• Trouble thinking or concentrating
• Difficulty understanding what is real or not
• Suspiciousness and paranoia
• Withdrawal and isolation
• Abnormal ideas or feelings
• Delusions and hallucinations: seeing, hearing, or even smelling things that aren’t there

Psychosis does not have a specific cause. It could manifest because of another mental health condition, substance abuse, medication side effects, or sleep deprivation.

You Don’t Have to Suffer Alone

If you have constant feelings of sadness or depression or feel you may have one of the types of depression, you should seek help. Professionals can teach coping mechanisms, prescribe medicine, and/or offer different types of therapy that can improve your quality of life. 

It’s important to note that if you are having thoughts of harming yourself or others, you should seek emergency help. You can find resources at any time of the day or night.