Setting a boundary can seem pretty self-explanatory, but drawing clear lines and creating a border in your life that impact your mental health can get tricky. Boundaries are important for self-care and can help you have a more healthy response in tricky situations. 

Personal boundaries help you to define yourself and your relationships and should be thought out carefully. Setting a boundary is essential for life and living in healthy relationships. Here are some tips and insights on how boundaries can help shape a healthy life. 

What Are Boundaries?

Put in simple terms, a boundary is anything that marks a border. This can mark the edge or the limit of a subject, relationship, rule, or principle. While a boundary may sound harsh, setting them can help individuals to have more healthy relationships, avoid burnout, avoid triggers and lower mental health, and avoid resentment.

Boundaries can be imaginary lines or physical barriers. For example, you may put a time limit on a conversation with a specific person as a boundary. You may also have to set a physical boundary if you feel the contact or touch with a person is too much. Giving hugs or showing physical affection may need to be explicitly discussed in order to put you more at ease.

There are physical, emotional, mental, and sexual boundaries. Each type of boundary will need to be set by the individual and should also be discussed with the other party in order for the boundary to be effective.

Healthy And Unhealthy Boundaries

Setting boundaries can be difficult because you often need to set them with people that you care about. Drawing a line can cause discomfort by being set, but if your comfort level is compromised without a boundary, one needs to be set.

When you look into setting a boundary you will need to ensure that they are healthy. Boundaries can also be set to help you ensure that you are not encroaching on other people’s boundaries as well.

Some examples of unhealthy boundaries include:

• Sharing too much or sharing too soon
• Closing yourself off and not expressing your wants and needs
• Weak sense of your own identity
• You base how you feel about yourself on how others treat you
• You allow others to make decisions for you
• You do not take responsibility for your own life

Working with a therapist or counselor can help you to unlearn these unhealthy methods and feelings. They can help you work through feelings of inadequacy and understand that you are in full control of your situation. Working towards healthy boundaries improves your relationships and self-esteem. Some examples of healthy boundaries include:

• Having higher self-esteem and self-respect
• Sharing personal information gradually in a mutually sharing relationship
• Protect physical and emotional space from intrusion
• Have an equal partnership where responsibility and power are shared
• Be assertive
• Empower yourself to make healthy choices
• Separate your needs, thoughts, feelings, and desires from others
• Recognize your boundaries are different from others 

Working to set a boundary with others may come with some pushback. People may try to test your limits, but the sole purpose of boundaries is to help you make changes and feel safe. If you are in a situation where someone is threatening you or dangerous, it may be best to work with a therapist about how to safely set a boundary. Setting boundaries comes with consistency and being clear about your needs to those who you set boundaries with, including yourself. 

Avoid Burnout

One of the greatest benefits of setting a boundary is the option to say no to things that don’t serve us. Taking on every project, opportunity, family event, or other draining idea can make you feel drained and unmotivated. Setting clear boundaries helps you to feel less stressed and creates more personal time for yourself. 

Don’t Get Taken Advantage Of

Another benefit is avoiding getting taken advantage of. This can be physical, mental, emotional, or sexual. These types of boundaries are extremely important in romantic relationships. This can also help improve your self-worth by knowing what your time and energy are worth. You can not pour from an empty cup, so setting boundaries can help you avoid giving too much when you shouldn’t. 

How Do I Set Boundaries?

Now that you know some examples, how do you set clear ones? Some simple way to start is to vocalize your feelings as it happens. For example, if someone is hitting you or wants to give you a hug that you don’t want, you can simply say “I don’t like that,” or “I would prefer not to.” These phrases can be a way to start getting others around you to recognize your boundary, but in order for your boundary to stick, you should communicate to the individual about what your boundary is. If someone is unaware of your boundaries, they will not know when they have crossed the line. 

When setting a boundary, do it calmly, respectfully, and firmly, and do not apologize for the boundary you are setting. While you should do this in a calm manner, you are also not responsible for the other party being upset or manipulating you over the boundary you have set. Boundaries keep us safe, if people can not respect your boundaries, they should not have a relationship with you. 

You may feel guilty or nervous about setting a boundary, but remember that you have a right to self-care. Setting boundaries takes practice and determination. 

Ogden Psychological Services

Helping you feel at ease is our goal here at Ogden Psychological Services. Not only should you feel comfortable in our office, but we help to give you tools that improve the comfort level of all your relationships. Our team has board-certified therapists that create a plan that is specific to you. 

We help to treat patients who experience all kinds of symptoms and deal with different mental health issues. Some of these include:

• ADHD
• Postpartum Depression
• Migraines
• Autism
• Anger
• Trauma
• And More

Our team wants to help you on the road to recovery and improve your quality of life. Contact us today to set up an appointment and work towards your goals.

Choosing to attend couples therapy or marriage counseling can be a tough choice. If your spouse doesn’t share your same resolve to attend therapy, this can be frustrating and may make you feel powerless. While you may feel that there is nothing you can do, there are helpful actions that you can take. Just remember that forcing someone to go to talk with a therapist, likely will not yield the best results.

Validating concerns for both parties might be a good place to start. Seeking help through a therapist for yourself first could also help your partner or spouse see the helpful effects of therapeutic treatment. 

Try Not To Let Fear Take Control

A common first reaction is to have fear about how your partner will react, or if they have already said no, fear that your relationship will never get better. Letting fear rule your decision-making is only going to make things worse. Many marriages go through phases where one partner wants to work harder on the relationship than others. It is understandable that you will have fear about attending therapy, losing someone you love, etc.

Fear may also be playing a part in their reluctance to attend therapy with you. Showing fear to your partner is not going to help put your mind at ease. Working to learn about why your partner is hesitant can help communicate about the benefits of therapy or if questions come out into the open. 

Mental Health Stigma

The stigma around mental health and seeking therapy is starting to reduce. But there is still this thought that “therapy is only for crazy people” or “I don’t need help.” Having these misconceptions can be a major reason why your spouse or partner is refusing to seek counseling. They may also be concerned that people will judge them or talk about their issues behind their backs.

Therapy can be a great tool, even if you feel your marriage is healthy. Therapy and talking with a third party can help to improve your communication and intimacy. Attending therapy does not always have to be about deep issues. Talking to your partner about these benefits may help them to see that your intentions are to elevate the relationship.

Try An Alternative

While therapy is great, there are other alternatives that can work. You can ask your spouse what methods they would be open to. It is a possibility that talking once a week with just the two of you about what you need or talking about a specific issue can help improve your relationship. There are also self-help books and group classes that can take the pressure off of your spouse. Doing your own work to spend quality time together and validate their feelings can improve the quality of your relationship too. Take some time to get away, spend time without phones, or schedule date nights. 

Another alternative is to try therapy on your own. Improving yourself can help improve your relationships. As you make changes, your spouse can start to notice this and may try to improve themselves as well. They may also become more curious about what you discuss with your therapist and start to learn more about what takes place in a therapy session. Going alone can help you deal with the stress of your spouse refusing to attend therapy or figuring out the next steps. 

Is It Worth It?

Counseling can be more than worth it and can improve your relationship. It can be very effective if you trust the therapist and are open to having conversations about your relationship. There are multiple different methods that can be used during therapy that can work for different couples. 

Couples and marriage therapy can help you learn more about each other and what you need from the relationship. How committed you are to therapy is how effective it will be. You get out what you put in. Ogden Psychological Services wants to help find a method that works best for you. Our skilled therapists can work with individuals that are hesitant and do not take sides. 

Therapy With Ogden Psychological Services

Working with Ogden Psychological Services can treat more than just relationship strain. We work with people that have autism, those who have anxiety and depression, or who have experienced PTSD. Our therapists are highly educated and want to help you accomplish your personal goals through individualized plans.

Attending therapy can be overwhelming and will be hard, but the benefits of therapy will help your life become more meaningful. Therapy can improve your communication skills, improve your relationships, and give you a better outlook on hard situations. Ogden Psychological Services wants to improve your brain function and outlook on life. Contact us today to schedule an appointment or ask us any questions.

Keeping up with your mental health is a lifelong process that can go through highs and lows. Even if you are working with a therapist, there may be times that you can not visit with them or something may come up between visits. There are ways that you can handle your mental health between therapy visits.

Your therapist should give you tips for your everyday life on how to manage your anxiety and depression but there are self care and breathing exercises that you can use when life may throw a curveball. Ogden Psychological Services wants you to feel in control of your health and know that things will get better. Here are some tips to help you take your mental health into your own hands and improve your thought process while away from therapy. 

1- Exercise And Healthy Diet

You may have heard this a million times, but eating foods that fuel your body and exercise your muscles, this can help to improve your brain health too. If you have the capacity to take a walk, getting some fresh air can help clear your mind and allow you to think more clearly. 

Eating the right foods can help to boost your mood and reduce inflammation. Eating foods that are rich in omega-3 fatty acids, such as salmon, dark green leafy vegetables, nuts, seeds and legumes are all excellent brain foods. Eating too little or too much can cause stress and may make your mental health even worse. Keep in mind that eating the recommended amount of meals per day, can keep your mood elevated.

2- Make Your Health A Priority

As adults with mental health concerns, we often seem to think that our health is not a priority or we are being selfish. Putting your kids, husband, friends or others health before your own can prove detrimental. 

Putting yourself first may be hard, but there is no reason to struggle in silence when you have people in your life love you. When you put yourself first you will start to see yourself in a better light and can make steps to feeling less than. Taking charge of your mental health between therapy visits can make your next therapy session more productive.

3- Journal Your Thoughts

Putting your thoughts down on paper can help us to sort them in a healthy and nondestructive way. Journaling can be a way to let out your frustrations and process what you are truly feeling.

Journaling has been shown to help you remember things too. Writing down goals and advice from your therapist can help it stick in your brain for when you are overwhelmed. Writing down your feelings or what you have learned can help you to look back when you may dip in your mental health. Looking back on what you learned or the other hard things you have overcome could help give you a little push forward. 

Your therapist can also help you talk about your feelings that you wrote down once you get back in a session. Writing down details about your mental health between therapy visits will help your therapist to have an inside view of how you were feeling at the time. 

4- Confide In Your Support System

Have a family member or a friend hold you accountable or work with you on your mental health between therapy visits can make you feel less alone. While a trusted friend and family member can not give you clinical advice, they can be a shoulder to cry on or let out your feelings about something that is bothering you.

Therapy does not just have to happen in a therapist’s office. You can learn more about yourself and the world around you from others. You should not be afraid to reach out when you really need someone to talk to. 

5- Apply Your Therapists Advice

If you have been going to therapy for a while, your therapist has probably given you some coping skills or tips to recall when you are in a tough situation. While you are away from them, you should put what you have learned to good use. Using your knowledge from your therapist can help keep you from spiraling or making a choice that could hurt you or others. 

6- Help Apps

Although your therapist is trained and licensed to provide help to you, there are apps that can help with your mental health between therapy visits. Apps such as Calm, Headspace, BetterHelp, or crisis hotlines can help you to relax or talk you down. As of July 2022, the Suicide Prevention Hotline number is now 988. 

Feeling overwhelmed can get lonely so there are many support platforms that can be used if a family member or friend is not available. Your therapist may also be able to chat with you over text or over the phone between sessions. Don’t be embarrassed about reaching out. 

7- Breathing Exercises 

Have you ever taken a deep breath and instantly felt better? Doing deep breathing and focusing on just your breathing can help to ground you. There are some specific breathing techniques that your therapist may have given to you specifically, but if you need some more examples, you can find some here. 

8- Self Care Practices 

Since self care is a popular word nowadays, it can be confusing to understand what exactly self care entails. Self care can really mean anything that you want it to, but it usually refers to something that makes you feel more like yourself. It can be as simple as taking a bath with your favorite scent, eating your favorite meal, or calling a family member that you haven’t talked to in a while. Self care does also not have to be fancy spa treatments, or cost anything. Self care should be taking care of yourself, so that could mean taking a day off work, eating better, or getting some more sleep. 

Doing something that will improve your health and well being can be considered self care and doesn’t have to be aesthetically pleasing. 

9- Ditch Bad Habits

One of the best ways to improve your mental health is to ditch your self destructive or bad habits. Keeping your mental health between therapy visits in check can be hard when you are having a panic attack or worrying about irrational feels. Your therapist may be working with you on this but going back to old habits when you are having a hard time between sessions. Falling back into bad habits such as drinking, self harm, isolating yourself, not eating, etc. 

Breaking a bad habit is rough so falling back into it should be an opportunity to learn. Work through this time and practice better habits that can improve your overall function. 

Therapy With Ogden Psychological Services

Finding a therapist that you connect with and can work with effectively is top priority. Ogden Psychological Services strives to ensure you feel at ease, comfortable, and safe in our behavioral health clinic. Our focus is providing you with sound psychological treatment for your unique needs. 

We take your privacy seriously and uphold the stringiest standards in order to protect it. We believe that everyone can grow, in respect and diversity, empowering our clients and value individual integrity. Whether you struggle with trauma, anger, ADHD, depression, or chronic migraines we can design a care plan just for you. 

These tips combined with consistent therapy can help you feel more sane in your day-to-day life. 
Learn more about what issues we treat, our therapists backgrounds and about our Neurofeedback treatments on our website.